AUTHOR: Carolyn Savage | POSTED: August 27, 2012 | COMMENTS: 5 Comments
It’s taken me a few weeks to be able to write about this. I guess it took that long to shake off the “what ifs” and although they’re slowly dissipating, I still get the shivers thinking about how lucky we are that Drew and Ryan came out of this unscathed.
It’s just so damn ironic. As a mother I’ve buckled them in no less than a thousand times, bought the best car seats on the market, kept them in boosters far past the then recommended four or forty, and when it came time to buy Drew a car, we went for the biggest piece of steel we could afford. But none of that could protect two of my greatest treasures from a rogue Ford Expedition that t-boned a Pontiac Grand Am which promptly flew into the path of Drew as he drove down the road.
It was an accident scene like one I’ve never experienced. It left two cars totaled–Drew’s being one; Sent three teenagers to the hospital–all victims of a third driver who, thankfully, was uninjured (and insured); And damn near rendered me stupid for the remainder of the day because the adrenaline rush that accompanied the call left me unable to collect myself for what seemed like an eternity.
As scary as it was, when Drew and Ryan told me the story of what happened in the immediate aftermath of the accident my heart was warmed. It was a reminder that people are good. Especially my fellow moms. Read the rest of what happened here on Today Moms. I promise it will bring a smile to your face, knowing that kindness is alive and well, even roadside in the wake of a very scary accident!
The Itzy Ritzy Give Away Winner!
Last week’s winner is Grandma Honey with her wise comments and advice about taking the pressure off of kids!
I kept a quote I read in Reader’s Digest last year:
“Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.
Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”
I think cheating and not telling the truth are cousins. If our children are honest they will not have a problem with either one of these.
I was never much into punishing my children. Especially for saying a non truth.
(I never liked to use the word ‘lie’ either.)
Children are not “liars” anymore than they are “thieves.”
They are little humans who come into this world not knowing much.
They need to be guided and encouraged, not labeled. My opinion anyway.
Okay, this is what I did. Disagree with it all if you would like.
1. Don’t ever ask a question to your child you already know the answer to. Don’t say, “Did you hit your brother?” when you just saw that he did. I believe this encourages children to lie.
2. Don’t punish a small child for not telling the truth. This will usually make them just try harder next time to lie better. It doesn’t seem like it should work this way, but it does! Don’t ever ignore it either. Instead, look them straight in the eye and say kindly and bluntly, “It’s important you always tell the truth.” Sometimes I added, “I need to always be able to trust you.” and then leave it at that.
3. Praise them often for telling the truth when you know they have, by saying, “Thank you for being honest. I know I can count on you.” Don’t go overboard but state it matter of fact….like ‘of course I can count on you.’ not, ‘oh my goodness I can’t believe you told the truth!’
4. Don’t use the word “liar” or “lie.” Those are labels they do not need. They do not deserve. They are children with unfinished brains.
5. And the most important one of all. Be honest. If your children watch you make up stories to get out of things, they will probably do the same.
Just my little take on honesty passed down from my parents.
Sorry this is so long Carolyn, but can I say one more thing? I think what you did by giving Logan back to his parents, was the greatest act of honesty and truth I think have ever known. Your children will all be blessed all of their days by your example of goodness and truth.
Grandma Honey, send me your address at the “contact Carolyn and Sean” button at the bottom of the home page and I’ll mail you your goodies straight away!