AUTHOR: Sean Savage | POSTED: April 22, 2011 | COMMENTS: None Yet - Post a Comment
CATEGORIES: Daddy on The Fly, Faith, Tags: challenges, compassion, precious time, search for meaning
“It’s Friday, but Sunday is Coming.”
I first heard these words spoken when I was about thirteen. For Catholics, there is no more solemn day than Good Friday, a day marked by sacrifice, loss, and great sorrow. The idea that renewal, hope–Easter Sunday–is around the corner does not seem possible.
There are times in my life when a “Friday” has hit and inn my grief, I questioned whether God was there and doubted my ability to get through the situation. Just before Carolyn and I married, I lost my hero—my father—at 62. It was a permanent Friday, and I felt abandoned and adrift at sea without a paddle. Could there be a better day out there? That day did come when Carolyn and I recited our vows and began our lives together as a married couple. Sunday had come, and happiness and hope had returned.
Another Friday hit when Carolyn and I learned of the mistaken embryo transfer. We felt so alone and lost, and questioned how we could—and whether we would–survive as individuals and as a couple. But Sunday came again, when we learned we were having twins! Grace was present, and hope was restored. We cannot wait to hold those babies in our arms come August. Regardless of the day of the week they arrive, it will surely feel like Easter Sunday.
But Fridays can come again.
Last week, dear long term clients of mine Chad and Tina met the worst nightmare a parent could ever imagine in losing their four year old son. They are such good people and good parents. Learning of their son’s tragic death caused my stomach to drop and tears to immediately come to my eyes. I could never imagine what they were going through and really was not sure there was anything I could do to comfort their souls. A Friday beyond comprehension had just arrived in their lives and was to stay for a long time. Their lives will never be the same. Last Friday, as I walked into the funeral home and waited in line to express my condolences I choked up on several occasions as I looked around at the pictures of this beautiful child with his family and the notes from other children hung up on the wall. Upon arriving I first embraced Chad and listened as he cried and expressed as best he could the difficulty of this loss. All I could muster in the minute we embraced was that his son was with God, that he was experiencing the worst loss imaginable and that I am praying deeply for his family.
Tina was in a chair facing the open casket with her head down and through the tears, we exchanged a few words. A mother next to the casket of her son. It was the saddest room I had ever been in ever and what they were experiencing was life’s worst nightmare. Parents losing a child. Friday was a permanent state for them. They are forever changed and their loss may never have closure, but I believe some day Sunday will show up again. I pray that it does.
Good Fridays can cause us to believe that Easter Sunday will never come. We are all in a different place on this Good Friday, and we need to be there for each other so that hope can endure. Suffering will give way to resurrection. Please on this Good Friday keep Tina and Chad and their family in your prayers and all others suffering. If you wish to send a message to Tina and Chad please do so through the website and I will make sure it is delivered.
Regardless of your faith or creed or denomination, know that this is at heart a message about love, about renewal, and about hope. Enjoy the weekend with those you love and revel in the memories of those close to you who have passed on. Sundays come again.