On The Doorstep of A Miracle

AUTHOR: | POSTED: August 7, 2011 | COMMENTS: 6 Comments
CATEGORIES: Daddy on The Fly, Faith,

Sean Savage

We’ve had a few false alarms regarding the upcoming delivery of our twin daughters.  Every time it’s happened, I have been flooded with excitement and a little anxiety.  While waiting for the go ahead to jump in the car and make the drive to Jennifer’s hospital, I’ve found myself asking, Am I ready? Am I really ready? 

 I think the reasons for my added anxiety are because of the unique circumstances of our journey.  You see, even though our first three children arrived in the midst of some crazy deliveries the mere fact that these babies are coming as the result of such an amazing sacrifice by another person—Jennifer—makes the situation much different.  Jennifer’s generous spirit is making a dream of ours a reality.  She is enduring a great deal with the pregnancy and surely will have a sense of accomplishment upon delivery.  I can’t help but wonder though—is she going to feel a little bit of a loss after the babies are born? This worry has inspired us to prepare for the arrival of our daughters in a unique manner.  We’ve envisioned the celebration of their arrival, but we are also committed to staying cognicent of Jennifer’s role in their lives.  This delivery will be handled gently with celebration, thanksgiving and sensitivity.

 The second difference is that the birth of our twin daughters comes as the culminating event of a long and challenging journey.   It began with the shocking news of Carolyn’s mistaken pregnancy and continued beyond the relinquishing of Logan at birth.  Carolyn and I have been blessed to spend time with Logan on two occasions over the past seventy five days and what a boost those moments have been for us.  To hold the child we reunited with his genetic parents upon birth is rewarding.  The occasional glimpses we get into his world are greatly appreciated, but the not knowing about his day to day welfare still stings.  I guess that’s why the pending arrival of our twin girls has a redemptive feeling for me.  Despite our loss, Carolyn and I made a decision as important as the decisions to protect Logan’s life and to not fight for custody.  We decided to fight for more children.  Failures came but we refused to give up.  We clawed our way to a new day and a triumphant victory.  Our inspiration for this came from each other, but also from you.  Thousands and thousands of people from all over the world inspired us to persevere.  Sure there are some detractors who are outspoken and tell us everything we did was wrong.  We also know there are some who hold those same thoughts in silence. Thank God our supporters and our belief in what is right allowed us to focus on a hope-filled future.  Now we are on the doorstep of two beautiful miracles because God gave us the resolve to keep on “keeping on” despite pain, loss, and suffering and because your messages of support lifted us when we needed it.  The enormity of what we have been through and what is about to happen feels different than anything I have ever experienced. 

 Carolyn and I will keep you closely posted in the coming days.  Please continue to keep Jennifer and our daughters in your prayers.  It won’t be long now.  We are definitely on the doorstep of a miracle.

6 Comments on “ On The Doorstep of A Miracle ”

  • tracy | August 7th, 2011 3:35 pm

    Excitedly waiting for those sweet girls to join your loving family! And sending a special prayer for Jennifer as she prepares to give you the most amazing of gifts!

    Hugs to you all,

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  • Holly | August 7th, 2011 10:25 pm

    Sean and Carolyn,
    I am so excited for you all! I pray that all goes well, and everyone is healthy and happy. I know from experience (my child was born because of embryo donation) that when you receive such an amazing gift, the gratitude and the emotions are overwhelming. These two girls will be so blessed to have wonderful parents, siblings, and also Jennifer in their lives. What a miracle! I’m looking forward to hearing the good news!

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  • Jane virgens | August 8th, 2011 1:56 pm

    Why not name the girls caroline and shawna or carol and shiana after two wonderful parents glad you saw your little man

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  • Becca | August 9th, 2011 8:32 pm

    I finished your book a couple of weeks ago and still find myself affected by your amazing faith, hope and courage. Truly a book that took me from the pit of sadness but yet left me uplifted and WITH HOPE! So very excited about your sweet girls!


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  • Michele | August 14th, 2011 11:42 pm

    Dear Sean,

    As a surrogate mother myself, it warms my heart that you are thinking of Jennifer’s feelings after the birth of your twin girls. For me, I never felt a loss after I gave birth and gave the child/children to their parents. I LOVE each and every one of my surrogate children but felt very comfortable and at peace watching the new parents with their baby. All I ever wanted after the birth is to know how they were doing and to see pictures as they grew and developed. I am so lucky and I do get that. My last set of surrogate twins only live 2 hours away so we are very lucky and get to see them several times a year. We even got to celebrate their 1st and 2nd birthday’s with them.

    You are both wonderful people and I am so happy that your dreams will soon be a reality. I continue to keep Jennifer and the girls in my prayers and hope for a safe and easy delivery. I also believe that you will always keep Jennifer’s feelings in mind and allow her to be in the girls lives.

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  • Emily | August 25th, 2011 11:05 am

    Carolyn and Sean

    I’m hoping and praying that everything is all right with you and your family, the girls and Jennifer. Anxiously awaiting the news. I admire you both so much and wish you all the best.


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