AUTHOR: Sean Savage | POSTED: August 7, 2011 | COMMENTS: 6 Comments
CATEGORIES: Daddy on The Fly, Faith,
We’ve had a few false alarms regarding the upcoming delivery of our twin daughters. Every time it’s happened, I have been flooded with excitement and a little anxiety. While waiting for the go ahead to jump in the car and make the drive to Jennifer’s hospital, I’ve found myself asking, Am I ready? Am I really ready?
I think the reasons for my added anxiety are because of the unique circumstances of our journey. You see, even though our first three children arrived in the midst of some crazy deliveries the mere fact that these babies are coming as the result of such an amazing sacrifice by another person—Jennifer—makes the situation much different. Jennifer’s generous spirit is making a dream of ours a reality. She is enduring a great deal with the pregnancy and surely will have a sense of accomplishment upon delivery. I can’t help but wonder though—is she going to feel a little bit of a loss after the babies are born? This worry has inspired us to prepare for the arrival of our daughters in a unique manner. We’ve envisioned the celebration of their arrival, but we are also committed to staying cognicent of Jennifer’s role in their lives. This delivery will be handled gently with celebration, thanksgiving and sensitivity.
The second difference is that the birth of our twin daughters comes as the culminating event of a long and challenging journey. It began with the shocking news of Carolyn’s mistaken pregnancy and continued beyond the relinquishing of Logan at birth. Carolyn and I have been blessed to spend time with Logan on two occasions over the past seventy five days and what a boost those moments have been for us. To hold the child we reunited with his genetic parents upon birth is rewarding. The occasional glimpses we get into his world are greatly appreciated, but the not knowing about his day to day welfare still stings. I guess that’s why the pending arrival of our twin girls has a redemptive feeling for me. Despite our loss, Carolyn and I made a decision as important as the decisions to protect Logan’s life and to not fight for custody. We decided to fight for more children. Failures came but we refused to give up. We clawed our way to a new day and a triumphant victory. Our inspiration for this came from each other, but also from you. Thousands and thousands of people from all over the world inspired us to persevere. Sure there are some detractors who are outspoken and tell us everything we did was wrong. We also know there are some who hold those same thoughts in silence. Thank God our supporters and our belief in what is right allowed us to focus on a hope-filled future. Now we are on the doorstep of two beautiful miracles because God gave us the resolve to keep on “keeping on” despite pain, loss, and suffering and because your messages of support lifted us when we needed it. The enormity of what we have been through and what is about to happen feels different than anything I have ever experienced.
Carolyn and I will keep you closely posted in the coming days. Please continue to keep Jennifer and our daughters in your prayers. It won’t be long now. We are definitely on the doorstep of a miracle.