AUTHOR: Carolyn Savage | POSTED: September 16, 2011 | COMMENTS: 13 Comments
I need to learn that there are certain things that should not be attempted with one month old twins in the house. My constantly growing “do-not-try” list includes (but is not limited to) the following…
Giving MK a haircut with no one else around to pick up an infant that has decided to up-chuck her entire last feeding. (MK had a one-sided haircut for a few hours that day.)
Going to the grocery store in an attempt to locate and purchase the very hard-to-find formula that they both can tolerate. (NOT.WORTH.IT!!!)
Talking on the phone with an Anderson Cooper producer while wrangling a finger painting three year old.
(on that note)Finger painting. NO FINGER PAINTING IN THIS HOUSE FOR A WHILE!!!
Cooking lemon asparagus risotto. (A culinary over-reach that caused an epic marital melt down.)
As you reviewed the above list, I bet you thought “well duh” to the first four. Heck, finger painting is never good–right? But how could lemon-asparagus risotto almost cause an 18 year marriage to crash and burn?
Well, first let me preface this story with the knowledge that Drew and Ryan are in the midst of cross country season. Both boys run varsity for their high school, and as a result I am trying at every flip-of-the-pancake to nutrition them properly. The physical demands of their sport are extreme and as a result, I feel compelled to feed them wholesome and healthy food.
Unfortunately, wholesome and healthy are not found in take-out.
That’s where the lemon-asparagus risotto entered into the picture. I found the recipe on one of my favorite websites (here) and knowing that we all like lemon, rice and asparagus, I thought—why not? I was serving it with tortilla encrusted tilapia (don’t get too impressed….it’s from Schwanns) which is very easy to prepare (remove from freezer, bake on tray) so when I saw that I had to stand and stir the risotto for 18 minutes, I thought, “No big deal. It’s only eighteen minutes. Sean will be home. Surely I can stir for that long!”
Who knew that those eighteen minutes would be our down fall.
So, the fish is in the oven, the risotto is on the stove, I’m diligently stirring, and hell starts to break loose. First, it’s just Isabella—who I must say has a wimpy cry which renders it somewhat tolerable. Sean picks her up and starts bouncing and pacing. All was seemingly under control until Reagan started in. Now Reagan, unlike her sister, goes from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds and believe me when I say there is nothing wimpy about her cry. In fact it’s really not a cry—it’s a screech. The kind of screech that makes you want to slam your head in a drawer.
Me- Sean, pick her up.
Sean – How? I’ve got Isabella.
Me- With the second arm God gave you. You DO have two.
Sean – (Mutters something under his breath and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t, “Oh yes dear. I forgot I had another arm. Thanks for reminding me. I love you!)
Okay….so you can see where this is going. Now, Sean is holding two babies, and because he doesn’t have a third invisible arm (the way I—and all mothers of the world—do ) he can’t manage to get their pacifiers in their mouths to soothe them. Their crys are escalating, and his frustration with my incessant stirring is also escalating.
Sean – What the bleep are you cooking?
Me – Bleeping Lemon-Asparagus risotto.
Sean – Why?
Me – (muttered) So you can choke on it.
Sean – What?
Me – Because I planned this. I planned for the girls to wig out while I was stirring this stuff just so I could watch you freak out. I don’t get out much these days so it’s how I entertain myself.
Sean – Inaudible response.
I’ll spare you the rest of the nasty and unflattering back-and-forth that Sean and I had while I was finishing dinner that night. At least we can look back on the incident now and laugh, realizing that mistakes were made on both ends. I need to be more realistic about my “to-do” list these days, and I also need to hold my tongue better when I get frustrated.
He needs to grow an invisible third arm.
Thank goodness we are able to let these kinds of incidents go because we are so grateful that these two little ladies have come into our lives. I think we are both still pinching ourselves—even during the more challenging moments.
Sean’s dad used to say, “It’s really hard to dwell on the negative, when you focus on gratitude.”
I couldn’t agree more!