AUTHOR: Carolyn Savage | POSTED: October 23, 2013 | COMMENTS: 5 Comments
CATEGORIES: 1015 The River, Glass City Parent,
Look, my mom wasn’t all that into Halloween either. It’s genetic.
Okay, so I think I read somewhere that when you start a conversation (or in this case a blog post) with an excuse it’s a sign of defensiveness. Am I feeling defensive about my maternal actions–or lack there of–regarding Halloween?
Every year Halloween sneaks up on me like that effing snake on my porch. (I know it’s out there but I do my best to pretend it’s not…until it’s too late…and it’s between my legs. Well…Halloween isn’t between my legs but same difference. Hell. I just realized if you don’t regularly read my blog you are going to think I have issues…which I do…but not the ones you may think I have given those last few sentences. You may want to read this to garner context.)
I hate Pinterest. What the hell does Pinterest have to do with Halloween? Everything. Before Pinterest under achieving non-costume making mothers like myself only had to feel bad about themselves for an hour or two on the 31st. You know…when the children of these mothers begged for candy in costumes that required as little effort as possible NEXT TO children whose mothers were costume crafting freaks. I remember as a child remarking once to my mother regarding my friend’s super cool costume …
Me: Mom, Laura’s mom made her a costume out of paper mache’ and chicken wire.
Mom: Laura’s mom is a wino.
Which was ironic because I think I was dressed as a wino for the fourth Halloween in a row that year. (Cue phone call from my mom reminding me she NEVER let me go trick-or-treating as a wino. Okay mom. I was a hobo…but I did carry a bottle wrapped in a paper bag as a prop. I think it might be time we called a spade a spade?)
Fast forward to the hell of present day Halloween pressures and the past month’s feeds of my various social media accounts. Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and even the 140 character Twitter have been clogged with crafty Halloween costume undertakings that makes me want to do nothing but take a nap. (Or become a wino….but I digress.) You see, the problem is I can’t even muster up enough inspiration to rummage through the costume bin in my garage to see what I could possibly fashion out of an old Harry Potter cloak combined with the afro wig from the year Drew was Ben Wallace from the Pistons. Making matters worse, MK wants to dress up as a fairy. At first I was all…Awesome. You were Tinker Bell last year so you can be Tinker Bell again this year…but no! MK want’s to be Vidya, the archnemesis of Tinker Bell, also known as the fairy of the fast who really looks like she shops at Forever Goth and smokes Djarums.
Bottom line…there’s no cheap store bought Vidya costume anywhere in town… so Vidya is OUT.
Recognizing that I needed to quickly refocus my five year old I suggested Cinderella. She countered with Ariel which is where negotiations ended with a happy five year old and very little effort required of me.
Shamed? A little.
There have been past Halloweens where I was struck by some inexplicable costume crafting motivation, but those days are long gone. I’m in my forties. I’m too tired for all that fuss and I admit it… and then promptly blame my apathy on genetics.
So…if you notice that I’m not gushing over your most recent status update about your little ones fancy pants Halloween costume please know that my silence is mostly about me and less about you.
Not totally…but mostly.
Just kidding…not really.
A few pet owners that, in my opinion, need mental help.
And a few cute DIY Kids Costumes that you won’t see on my children but could be on yours…
For instructions on how to make the above kids costumes click here. If you need instructions on how to make the above pet costumes get a life. I’m not helping you with that!
This post was written for my weekly segment for Rick and Mary Beth on 101.5 The River. To listen tune it at 7:25 am Wednesday mornings!