“Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus.” They hit the nail on the head with that one.

“Carolyn and Sean , your book is the most beautiful love story I have ever read,” said a mom and reader who came up to us at a event we attended this past weekend.  These words were indeed humbling and caused me to reflect more deeply on the dynamic between me and Carolyn on this journey.  Our book is a real-life Mars and Venus story and by reading it, women can get a guy’s perspective on a pregnancy and its challenges, while men will receive important insight into a mother’s journey through a pregnancy and through a crisis. I have an entirely new understanding of Carolyn as a woman.   I gained more understanding and respect for her as a mother, a woman and a spouse in the last two years than I did the entire fifteen years of our marriage up to that point.    I can take little credit for my personal revelations as they were thrust upon me by that bombshell. However, our experience can surely turn into a learning experience for other couples as relationship challenges are navigated and each individual is seeking greater insight into the other’s viewpoint. (more…)

The speech is coming along, but I do have to say that Sean hit the nail on the head when he said 18 years of marriage brings with it 18 years of baggage.  The baggage is everywhere in our home.  It’s in our bathroom first thing in the morning when I go to use my shampoo and somebody has left the cap off again (which leaves me to wash my hair with the equivalent of soapy water).  It’s in our garage when I trip over someone’s size 10 running shoes while trying to carry MK to her car seat.  It’s even in the driveway when I maneuver around our empty trash cans that are waiting to be dragged back to the house three days after the garbage was picked up.  I guess it’s easy to see the “baggage” that others leave around my life because it pops up everywhere annoying and frustrating me several times a day. (more…)

Advance feedback on our forthcoming book always includes the following statement: “I really liked the use of the two voices throughout the book.”  I do believe this approach works for our story, but I will also admit that if we tried to write it with one unified voice; we would still be stuck on the prologue.  Carolyn and I are not good at tackling a large project together.  We work  much better when we divide tasks and then head to our neutral corners to complete them. (more…)

The kids and I live with Captain Safety.  Who’s Captain Safety?  He’s the guy in our house that can often be heard shouting warnings like, “Wash your hands before you eat!” or “Don’t run with scissors!”  He has a nose for spoiled food, an uncanny ability to remind us to dress appropriately for the weather, and is always chasing the boys with fruit to ensure that they have consumed their daily allowance of vitamin C and anti-oxidants.  In the summer, Captain Safety is always armed with sunscreen in one hand and bug spray in the other.  He is our protector and although we love him dearly, his reminders are often met with sarcastic eye rolls and disrespectful utterances. (more…)

Sean’s right. We were told during a premarital meeting with the priest who married us that “every family is dysfunctional.”   I remember thinking at the time, “I wonder what our dysfunction will look like?”  Nearly eighteen years later, I have a vivid picture.  Don’t get me wrong, Sean and I function quite well together.  We have three great kids (two teenagers and a two year old), a home that is mostly clean (you’ll hear about the “mostly” part in a later post), and a marriage that is still intact and pretty strong (but is wildly active with bickering and conflict).  We pay our bills, enjoy our friends, and partake in the regular activities that all parents/couples do, but a Norman Rockwell painting we are not.  Well, if we were, it would be a new kind of “Norman Rockwell” painting. (more…)