“Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus.” They hit the nail on the head with that one.

“Carolyn and Sean , your book is the most beautiful love story I have ever read,” said a mom and reader who came up to us at a event we attended this past weekend.  These words were indeed humbling and caused me to reflect more deeply on the dynamic between me and Carolyn on this journey.  Our book is a real-life Mars and Venus story and by reading it, women can get a guy’s perspective on a pregnancy and its challenges, while men will receive important insight into a mother’s journey through a pregnancy and through a crisis. I have an entirely new understanding of Carolyn as a woman.   I gained more understanding and respect for her as a mother, a woman and a spouse in the last two years than I did the entire fifteen years of our marriage up to that point.    I can take little credit for my personal revelations as they were thrust upon me by that bombshell. However, our experience can surely turn into a learning experience for other couples as relationship challenges are navigated and each individual is seeking greater insight into the other’s viewpoint. (more…)

Advance feedback on our forthcoming book always includes the following statement: “I really liked the use of the two voices throughout the book.”  I do believe this approach works for our story, but I will also admit that if we tried to write it with one unified voice; we would still be stuck on the prologue.  Carolyn and I are not good at tackling a large project together.  We work  much better when we divide tasks and then head to our neutral corners to complete them. (more…)

Holiday spirit was filling the air and lights and decorations were up everywhere I looked. All seemed right except for me. I found myself in a similar position as I was two years ago, masking a secret known only to me and Carolyn. But this time the secret was my health. (more…)

This was our year to host my family for Thanksgiving!  After having spent the morning at the hospital with Sean during his colonoscopy, I was racing through the store, knocking a few more items off of my “to-do” list when my cell phone rang.  It was Sean.

Me: What?  (tone…not so nice)

Sean: We’ve got a problem. There’s water pouring through the family room ceiling.  The master bathroom toilet overflowed.

Me: Are you on drugs?

Sean: Yes…but that’s not the point.  I tried to soak it up with towels but there’s too much.  I turned the water off so it’s stopped. (more…)

It was February 16, 2009. I was frozen.

I’d just put the phone down after speaking with our fertility doctor. Moments earlier I learned another couple’s embryos had been mistakenly transferred to my wife ten days earlier and that the pregnancy tests from earlier that day were positive.  Confusion and shock set in immediately.

As I write this post today, Carolyn and I are nearly two years removed from the moment that changed us and our marriage forever.  Today, we refer to past events as either pre-2/16 or post-2/16.  You may have a traumatic reference point in your own life. No matter how we have tried to claw back to the way things once were and pretend as though we can do it, our new reality smacks us in the face.  We simply hit something in life that does not allow us to go back to things as they were.  The earth beneath our feet shifted and the land we had our feet planted on, drifted away forever. (more…)