Getting “Picked Up” at Physical Therapy and More Monday Morning Weirdness…

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Carolyn Savage

Back in the early days of this blog I used to start the week off by rehashing some of the random happenings of my life.  And by random happenings I mean weird sh*t.

Today, I am resurrecting that tradition because let me tell you…the weird sh*t is flying around here.

#1:  I Got Propositioned…at Physical Therapy

First off, limping into PT three times a week is depressing.  My progress is slow (and slow maybe overstating it.  Stalled might be more like it.) PT is humiliating–because trying to bend a joint that won’t bend is frustrating–and not to mention painful.  I wince, whimper and cringe my way through it all the while trying not to make eye contact with any of the other people in the place…because…you know…who wants to bond over PT?  Anyways, last Friday as I was attempting to straighten my right leg when the old man on the table next to me muttered something.  I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me, and in hopes that he wasn’t I ignored him.  That is until he muttered the same sentence louder and kind of cocked his head at me.

Not knowing what he was saying, again…I ignored him…which he didn’t like.  Next thing I know I saw him … Read the rest

The Bittersweet Gift of Nostalgia

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Categories: Blog

Carolyn Savage

There are certain times of the year that get me feeling nostalgic.

January is one of them.  I don’t know if it’s the lull after the chaos of the holidays or the weather that forces us midwesterners into the confines of a roof with walls.  Actually, now that I think of it it’s probably a combination of both heightened by the exit of grown children who were home and have now returned to their various lives.

I love having our two oldest son’s around.  Even though my grocery bill doubles along with the laundry and clutter, there’s something comforting about having all of our children under one roof.  I guess I worry less when I can account for their whereabouts based on the presence of shoes the size of boats in our mudroom.

I like our full house.  It feels safe.

Drew and Ryan both went back to their respective universities this past Sunday.  Even though I remain excited for them, as I towed both of them through the grocery store in preparation for their departure I felt a bit like I was getting sucker-punched each time they threw something in the cart.  Drew’s list was a little more cumbersome.  He lives in an apartment and needed household supplies and … Read the rest

Slow, Injured and Grateful: An Unexpected Start to 2016

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Categories: Blog

Carolyn Savage

I’m overwhelmed.

It seems that I always am in January.  I think it’s because of all the hype jamming my social media feeds and commercials about starting 2016 the right way.  What’s the right way?  Well according to the implied, subliminal and mostly obnoxious messaging I’m currently internalizing I should be focusing on myself.

According to Weight Watchers I can do this by eating better, exercising more, and cooking colorful vegetables and lean meat in pristine cookware.  Supposedly, if I do this I will feel better, sleep soundly, breathe easier and smile more.  Real Simple and other similar sites are bombarding me with ways to declutter my closets, car, cupboards and medicine cabinet.  Organized places in my home will apparently bring me a sense of peace, calm and serenity.  Who doesn’t want any of that?

And I do.  I want all of it.  I want to be fit.  I want to be happy.  I want to be organized while whipping up healthy meals laden with the organic, free range, farm raised, non-gmo, low sodium ingredients that will make my family salivate.

Problem is…that shit is hard and I am injured.

You see, Christmas got a little out of hand this year.  I started the month of December with the best … Read the rest

You’re Invited…Nicholas’ First Birthday Party

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Categories: Blog

Carolyn Savage

Last night I fell down a rabbit hole of memories.

I was flipping through my phone and unearthed videos and pictures that I hadn’t seen or thought about in what seems like an eternity.  It’s hard to remember what it was like when Nicholas was a newborn.  How perfect he was on this day exactly one year ago…and then how far from perfect we ventured in the months following his birth.  There are times when the memories of what our son went through seems like a dream.  A really, really bad dream.  Especially when I look at him now.

You’d never know.”

I hear that a lot and I agree.  It’s hard to imagine that Nicholas was so very sick.  And the medical mystery that surrounded his deteriorating condition and perplexed doctors at five different hospitals…well, I am just eternally grateful he survived.

Nicholas still wakes every night for a feeding.  I know from a nutritional standpoint that he really doesn’t need it.  I know from a sleep training standpoint that I should let him work it out and end our 4 am rendezvous.  But they last all of ten minutes, and that time I spend rocking him in the dark and snuggling his body close to mine … Read the rest

Nicholas’ Fight

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Categories: Blog

Carolyn Savage

A couple of weeks ago I listened to a priest talk about how sometimes it makes sense to pray for God to take something away.

Here’s my struggle Lord.  Please take it from me.”

The homily struck me because I’ve never prayed for a challenge to be “taken away”.  I’m a realist and I know life’s unwelcome curveballs don’t just disappear.  They require journeys.  Long, hard, sometimes gut-wrenching journeys.  The good thing about journeys, however, is that they end.  Sure, they often leave marks on us, but we determine how those marks manifest themselves in our daily lives.

I knew I couldn’t control the journey…but I couldcontrol what I’ll look like…be like…at the end.

This always held true for me…until now.


People often ask me if Nicholas will grow out of his disease.  It’s a question that pains me because I wish I could say yes.  I would love to think that with time Nicholas will get better.   The cold, hard truth is…he won’t.  Sadly, he’s going to get worse.

Typing those words makes me cry.

They also instill resolve.  You see, there is a cure for PCD.   I’m not sciency enough to explain how the cure would work but I can tell you it has a … Read the rest

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