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It’s been four weeks since the boys left for college. Some times I wonder what my life would be like if our early family of four had stayed a family of four.
Sean and I would be empty nested right now. NOW! At 46! I’d be kidless! The mere thought of it makes me twitchy…and curious. Other than being well rested and probably duly employed, I think I’d be bored. And sad. I always knew there were more children in our future. That feeling of being incomplete was ever present before our four youngest came to be.
Now that Drew and Ryan are away at college that feeling of “incompleteness” is back–but different. I certainly am not craving another tangle with pregnancy. Those days are over and our family is definitely complete. But when the boys are gone two pieces of our family are missing. Of course, I know they have to be gone. They are 21 and 18. College is the right place for them to be. They have futures to prepare and dreams to chase.
I used to think the toddler years were the hardest stage of parenting. Now I’m actually convinced that the emptying of the nest is more difficult. The adjustments are gargantuan. Shifting one’s … Read the rest
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Categories: Blog, gratitude, IVF, Logan, perspective, Resilience, thankful
It’s been six years. Can you believe it?
It was just like today. Cool, sunny, with blue skies and fluffy white clouds. I remember opening the windows in my bedroom that morning wondering if today would be the day. I tried to relax and forget about the kerfuffle surrounding my pregnancy.
When the phone rang and I saw it was Sean I thought he was calling to check in on me. When he spoke, however, I could hear the hurt in his voice. “Have you seen the paper?”
“No, ” I replied. “I told you I’m not reading the paper or watching television until this baby is born. I can’t take the stress.” Our story was the front and center of the current news cycle and not all of the journalists were getting it right. It was frustrating to see the details of what was happening to me…to our family…getting botched. So, I promised to stop chasing my tail trying to correct everything and just concentrate on the health of my pregnancy.
“They went to the bishop for a reaction. He said we’d committed a mortal sin by using IVF. That no good could come out of the commission of a sin.”
That … Read the rest
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September is my favorite month. Mostly because of the weather. This week we are forecasted to have seven straight days of sun, fluffy clouds and no humidity.
I don’t know if it was the happy weather, or our planets aligned perfectly but something went terribly right last week. Come to think of it, it was probably the prayers that were so generously sent for Nicholas. It never ceases to amaze me how quick people…total strangers…are to stop what they are doing and hold our sweet little boy in their hearts.
Thursday night I hardly slept. I was a wreck thinking about the surgery and the news it could bring. I know Nicholas has a diagnosis and although it’s not the best, it’s an answer. I always thought there was peace in answers. As I get a little more life under my belt I’m coming to realize that sometimes answers beget more questions…and worries.
Our doctor found that pesky collapsed upper right lung lobe during our August check up at the Rainbow Children’s PCD clinic. As he stared at the x-ray I could read his face. There was disappointment in his expression. We all were hoping that as Nicholas grew his airways would become more capable of aerating … Read the rest
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Fall has sprung.
Not officially but somebody gave Mother Nature the go ahead to give northwest Ohio a taste this past weekend. As much as I love fall, I wasn’t ready. Saturday morning brought us temps in the upper 40s, and a 9am soccer game that required an 8:30 am mad dash through the winter gear storage tubs.
Why is it that when I put stuff away for a season I always tell myself to ignore that it truly needs washing? I justify putting dirty stuff away by convincing myself I’ll have to wash it after five months in storage anyways. Why bother now?
I never learn.
Anyways, we’ve been quite busy these past few weeks. Drew and Ryan have made their way to their respective colleges. Drew is a junior at Ohio University and his cross country season is well underway. Ryan is a freshman at Michigan State University. We dropped him off two weeks ago. I convinced myself that sending our second would be easier.
Ryan is so lucky. He went “potluck” for … Read the rest
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Categories: 1015 The River, Blog
Have you ever wondered what the first Independence Day celebrations were like? I don’t know if it was because I spent a lot of time as a kid watching Little House on the Prairie reruns or if it was because historical fiction was a genre that spoke to me when I was a young reader, but I often find myself wondering how in the world pioneeer women did it. How did they take care of their families, protect their children, cook, clean and clothe without the modern day conveniences of today?
Good God it must have been tough.
Even during the course of my life caring for a family has changed drastically. I remember when we got our first microwave. It was my mom’s birthday. My dad surprised her and it was such a big, hairy deal that a small crowd of neighbors gathered around the giant box on our back patio to watch my mom open it.
It was as big as a fridge.
I think it took a couple of the men-folk to haul it inside and when they did we all gathered around while we boiled water…in two minutes. It was epic.
So much was different of our mothers. Fresh fruit was available “in season”; … Read the rest